A Christmas List
by Stephosaur
Summary: Little Kurt learns something new that puts him in the Christmas spirit. (Spoiler "Glee, Actually")


**Well here's another father and son fic! I Love Kurt and Burt!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything its all Ryan Murphy and Fox**

**Spoiler Alert: mentions of the episode "Glee, Actually" **

All Kurt wanted to do was get home and start his Christmas break even if it wasn't going to feel like Christmas. He needed a break from the constant reminder that it would be the first time his mother wouldn't be with him to celebrate their favorite holiday together.

His classmates were talking on and on about what they had written on their wish list. The teacher had decided to assign all the second graders to write a wish list that would later be sent to Santa. At the mention of Santa, all the kids went wild and were eager to do this homework, including Kurt actually felt excited about this homework. Maybe his wish would come true.

While Mrs. Kingsley walked around the small classroom, collecting each student's homework, the rest of the class excitedly discussed their wish lists. Every child asked for a particular toy they wanted the most, all except Kurt. Each student had written up to twenty-four things on their list, while Kurt had written only one.

_Mom_

She was all he wanted. Not a robot toy that could be moved by a controller or the latest Barbie that he secretly had wish for since the day he saw in on display at the toy store. No, Kurt just wanted his mom back home with him and Daddy.

He had been bouncing in his seat hoping that the letter would be read over so he could seal it in white envelope which he had decorated with drawings and stickers. Kurt's had a drawing of his family holding hands with a big heart around them, almost as if it were a protective bubble.

Kurt was finishing up his assignment when Mrs. Kingsley approached his small desk and kneeled beside him. She had a serious, melancholy expression upon her face. The same expression Kurt had become familiar with on countless occasions. During the time his mother had become seriously ill, she stayed in the hospital. Whenever Kurt would ask his relatives when she was coming home, they would sigh before giving him the very same expression.

'It must be bad news', thought Kurt.

"Honey I just wanted to talk to you about your list."

Laying his pencil slowly on the hard surface, Kurt turned to face the teacher. He wondered if he had spelled a word wrong or had missed the point of the assignment.

"Is there something wrong with it?"

Mrs. Kingsley offered the small child a smile before placing the wish list on top of his math worksheet.

Sighing, she started, "Sweetie I know it has been hard these last few months with your mom passing away and I wanted to make sure that you knew that if you need to talk to me about her I'm here kiddo"

That was another thing Kurt didn't like, when adult would try to comfort him but instead only reminded him that he had lost his mother. That didn't comfort him at all. He thought it had to be a grown-up thing, constantly remembering things you wanted to forget.

Continuing his assignment, Kurt answered, "Thank you Mrs. Kingsley, but I'm okay. Santa is going to bring her back on Christmas and everything will be just like it was, right?"

Mrs. Kingsley felt a painful tug on her heart when she heard such an innocent question. She took Kurt's hands into her own and looked straight into large blue eyes.

"Honey your mom is in Heaven with God, she's happy there, always remember that."

She expected the chubby cheeked boy to tear up but instead was shocked with the next words he uttered.

"No she's not, Mom didn't know heaven. I'm sure I wouldn't feel comfortable being in a new place without her and Dad. She's at the lake."

Mrs. Kingsley lifted her head to check on the rest of her students, who were still doing their assignments.

The teacher inquired, "What lake Honey?"

She quietly laughed at the eye roll Kurt attempted to hide. He had recently acquired quite a sassy streak; she couldn't find a way to tell him so.

He took a deep breath before slowly letting it go. It was as if he had said whatever he was about to say thousands of times.

"When Mom and Dad feel stressed or tired, we all go to a lake a few hours away and stay there for the whole weekend. We have so much fun, except when Dad gets me to fish with him. That's just gross. But Mom makes it up to me when she takes me on a picnic, just us, to this little field where there are so many flowers. We just lay on the grass, she holds my hand and we just smell all of the flowers. It smells like mom's perfume. I think they are called "laven-doors". That's one of her favorite places in the world. She told me that herself. That's where she is right now and I really wish she had taken me with her."

For the first time, his voice quivered but he quickly wiped his eyes before picking up his pencil.

Mrs. Kingsley nodded her head even though he couldn't see her. Who was she to ruin a child's method of coping with the death of the person he loved the most in the world. She should have sat him down and told him that his mother was never coming back but Kurt was too young to hear those words, words that had been told to him before countless of time and yet he refused to listen to them.

She lifted a hand, and was going to ruffle his hair but stopped herself. Kurt was very picky when people touched his hair so she settled on gently patting his shoulder.

Mrs. Kingsley noticed he had finished the assignment and was drawing two figures with flowers in their hands.

She quietly collected his worksheet and went to help out Rachel Berry who was waving her hand in the air to gain her attention.

After the bell rang, all the students were dismissed. Kurt had gone from having a somewhat good day to a bad day; a bully named David Kurtofskyhad thought it would be fun to pelt Kurt with snowballs while he was having his afternoon snack. He proceeded to run away and lost his mittens on the way. Than Rachel Berry told anyone who would listen about how her two daddies had gotten her a small pink tree for her room and a large one for the living room. It was difficult for Kurt to not feel a tiny bit jealously. He knew there was no Christmas tree waiting for him at home.

At last the day was over and at the sound of the bell; all of his classmates ran outside eager to start to start their vacation. Mercedes, his best friend in the whole world gave him a shy hug and held out a small present with a big pink bow on top.

Kurt gasped, "Aw Cedes thank you."

He quickly reached into his backpack and took out a Christmas bag with colorful tissue paper poking out of it. He gave it to Mercedes who squealed happily.

They kept on talking about their Christmas break as they waited for their parents to come and pick them up.

"Kurt we have to go ice-skating sometime."

Both 8 year olds fiddled with their gifts, anxious to know what was inside.

"Sure Cedes that would be so much fun than we can go home and hot chocolate with little marshies and see the Sound of Music."

"Again?" asked Mercedes.

Kurt giggled," Yes again it's a classic."

"What does that mean?"

The blue eyed boy pursed his lips in deep thought before replying.

"I really don't know."

Giggles erupted between the two friends.

Kurt looked up to see his dad walking alongside Mrs. Jones. Both seemed to be having a deep conversation but stopped when they saw the two small children.

Burt stopped the conversation and offered what seemed to be smile but looked more like a grimace toward Mrs. Jones. He kneeled down and held out his arms.

Kurt gave a fast goodbye and ran into his daddy's arms. He instantly felt secure and safe once his dad's arms clutched him tight to his chest.

He clung onto Burt the way he usually did after spending hours away from the one another.

"Hey buddy did you have a good day?"

Kurt stepped back, looking into his Burt's face; he knew his father had had a tough day, from the red in his eyes to his voice sounding tired. The little boy wanted to tell him everything that happened to him today. From the wish list, to what David had done to him, and Rachel's Christmas trees. But he didn't want daddy to worry about him, Kurt decided to lie.

"I had a great day, Daddy."

That seemed to put a smile on the man. Burt ruffled his hair, Kurt only allowed him to do that no one else had the privilege.

Burt took his son's book bag and slung it over his shoulder.

"Let's go Kurt. How does pizza sound for dinner?"

Lately they had been eating take out and at first it hardly mattered, food seemed to lack taste after his mother had passed away. After a couple of months, Kurt started getting sick of the food. He knew his daddy tried his best at cooking up until he had burned dinner making the fire department arrive. Even then Kurt wanted a home cooked dinner.

Kurt sighed, "Dad we had that two days ago can you maybe make something at home. I'll help you."

Burt internally flinched at the pleading look on his sons face. No child should beg for a home cooked dinner, Kurt should be begging for the new playhouse he had seen a few days ago at the toy store.

Burt stood up pulling his son close to his side.

"Well buddy, Mrs. Jones invited us to her home for dinner. Doesn't that sound good?"

Mercedes and Kurt both gasped, excited to spend time together outside of school.

Kurt nodded eagerly, "Yes it does! Thank you Mrs. Jones!"

The Hummel's had dinner at the Jones residence and Kurt originally thought it would bring him comfort and joy to eat the delicious meal cooked with love and see the cheery decorations hung everywhere. He was wrong. It only reminded him even more about the person he wanted to be with the most in the world.

Mercedes had tried to cheer him up by inviting him to play dress up. He wore the purple feathery boa with low enthusiasm. She managed to get him a little excited with the mention of his favorite musical.

The Hummel left after a giving their thanks to Mrs. Jones and wishing them a Merry Christmas.

They finally arrived home; Burt sat on his favorite coach while Kurt stood in the doorway. The small boy wondered if he should tell his father about getting a Christmas tree. The fear of being rejected took over and settled that matter quickly. Kurt ran upstairs, making a beeline toward his parent's room. He stumbled back at the smell of HER perfume that floated throughout the room. Kurt slowly approached the dresser and sat himself down looking at his reflection. For a second Kurt saw his mom's reflection in the mirror spraying on her perfume. He with some difficulty was able to jiggle the drawer open and found what he was looking for: his mother's empty glass perfume bottle and a gold ribbon. He gingerly lifted the small delicate bottle and twisted the top of taking a whiff of the flowery perfume. He promptly closed it, the tears running down his face made it hard tying a thin ribbon around the glass bottle.

After he was done, Kurt lifted it into the light his eyes shining when small rainbows bounced on the walls when the light hit the glass bottle.

Kurt heard his dad yell out that it was time for his bedtime. Setting his new Christmas ornament on top of his desk, Kurt made his way to the bathroom.

After taking a quick shower and dressing in his warmest pjs, Kurt heard his dad walk up the stairs.

Burt was surprised to see his son standing on a small chair while tying something on the window shade. When the boy moved away from the window, there hanging proudly was his late wife's perfume bottle. Kurt had transformed the last thing he had of his wife, into his own special ornament.

Kurt hopped off his chair and scrambled into bed. He looked up and stared into his dads questioning eyes before saying.

"Since we don't have a Christmas tree, I decided make one. Is that alright daddy?"

Kurt saw his father trace a finger down the glass bottle before clearing his throat.

"No buddy it's okay. I think it's a neat idea."

He leaned over his son and pressed a soft kiss on the chestnut colored, baby soft hair.

"Goodnight Kurt, love you."

Kurt mumbled," Love you too, daddy."

He had quickly fallen asleep, clutching his favorite bear to his chest. Burt tucked Kurt in and turned off the lights. He caught one last glimpse of the slowly rotating bottle of perfume. The moon was hitting it perfectly, it was as if it was winking at Burt with it's reflection of light.

Burt left the door with it being opened a crack and proceeded to make his way toward their room.

This was always the hardest part of the night. Sleeping on this large bed without her still felt wrong. The father sniffled at the thought of how his son must feel waking up everyday without his mom to greet him with her cheery good mornings. Burt felt like a part of himself had died with his wife. As hard as he tried, he ended up crying at least twice everyday, though never in front of Kurt. The kid needed someone strong to lean on, Burt had to be that special someone.

A few days after Elizabeth's death, Burt had promised to keep his baby's life as normal as possible. It was easier said than done.

He didn't know how to cook; he didn't know his son's favorite things to do. He had already lost his wife; Burt didn't want to lose the relationship he had with his only child.

Burt needed to do something special, so special that it would finally bring a beautiful smile on Kurt's face Smiling had become almost nonexistent in the small boy's life.

'What can I do? What can I-'

Oh!

It finally hit Burt like a pillow case full of butter, the Christmas tree!' How could have he forgotten about the tree,' thought Burt. His wife always did say he was forgetful about certain things and he was lucky to have her as a reminder. It was a family tradition that his wife had started and he would be damned before ever thinking about breaking any tradition started by her. With that idea, Burt ran downstairs not before pressing a kiss to his fingers and pressing them against a beautiful portrait of his wife. He shrugged on his coat and scarf, taking his son's small jacket, and other warm clothes along with him.

'Hmm where are his mittens?'

Kurt was softly snoring when Burt poked his head through the small opening of the door. Burt noticed how little his son appeared sleeping with a serene expression on his face. It almost hurt the adoring father that he would be the cause of waking his son up from whatever dream he was having at the moment.

Burt kneeled on the carpeted floor and gently nudged his son to wake up.

Burt heard a questioning "hmm" escape his son's lips as he slowly opened his eyes. There was confusion but mostly sleepiness in those glasz colored eyes.

In a soft voice, Kurt inquired, "Dad? What's going on?"

Burt leaned on the bed with his arms under his chin.

"Well kiddo I just remembered that we don't have a tree and I don't think momma would be happy about that, would she?"

The mention of a Christmas tree fully woke up Kurt.

He rose from his bed on his elbows before replying," I don't think she would dad."

Burt nodded," That is why we are going to go buy a tree tonight so tomorrow we will have a bright Christmassy tree that would make momma smile so bright."

Kurt sat up in his bed, allowing Burt to dress him up with a warm sweater and jacket. Kurt held out his feet one at a time as Burt tied his boots.

With the final touch of his favorite scarf, Kurt followed his father into the car and buckled his seatbelt.

They drove through a crazy snowstorm before they found their perfect tree. It had been tough choosing one, Burt wanted one that could be tied to the car while Kurt wanted one that was taller than the living room ceiling. They settled on one that was small but stood out from the rest. Burt teased his son about naming the tree "Kurt" because of its small stature and bright shade of green.

Kurt wrinkled his nose. "But Daddy I'm not green."

Burt replied," True but you always manage to stand out from the rest. Your mother and I love that most about you."

Kurt giggled latching onto Burt's hand with his small one.

Burt would never forget the wide smile his son had given him on the ride home. He was finally smiling, finally happy and Burt was proud to say that he had been the cause of that smile.

Once they were home, Burt carried the tree inside and settled it in the usual spot the tree was during Christmas.

Kurt clung to his dad's side as they both admired the tree. The small boy bounces on the balls of his feet as he chatted endlessly of the bright lights and decorations that they would hang tomorrow.

Burt was to say utterly exhausted but the new addition to the house along with his very hyper son, he figured it was totally worth it. He barely noticed Kurt run upstairs and return with his hand cupped protectively over something.

Kurt approached the tree and picked a branch before placing the perfume bottle ornament on it.

He stood back to admire his work. The small boy leaned against his father who had moved to stand behind him.

"What do you think Dad?"

Kurt looked up to his fathers face, frowning at the sight of his dads tears.

He was lifted from his feet and into his father's arms. They held onto one another with such a fierce grip, Kurt felt nothing could hurt them.

Clearing his throat, Burt replied, "Its perfect kiddo."

Kurt smiled brightly his eyes focused on the slightly swaying ornament.

"Momma is going to be so happy when she comes back on Christmas!"

He felt his father tense, before giving a heavy sigh.

"Kurt, buddy Uh...momma isn't coming back."

The little boy was tired of hearing that, it couldn't be true. She said she would always be with him.

Kurt struggled out of his father's hold, once on his feet he turned to face his father.

"Stop saying that, she promised she would never leave me! And that she would always be with me!"

Burt smiled. A sad one.

"Kurt, she's with you all the time."

Kurt stuttered," W-what? Y-you just said she's not."

Leading his son to the nearby sofa, Burt lifted Kurt and sat him by his side.

Those big blue eyes that held in tears were filled with little hope and a lot of pain. Burt only hoped what he was about to say would give his son the assurance he needed.

"Kurt your mom lives in your heart, the love she has for you continues to live there too.  
The memories you and I have with her will keep her alive in both of our hearts."

The widowed father took his son's tiny hand and grasped it tightly.

"So she's not at the lake?" Kurt sounded cautious yet at the same time hopeful.

"No kiddo as much as I wished she was there, she's not."

Burt expected some form of outburst from his son. He was acting quite calm over such a sensitive issue.

"So what you're saying, Daddy is that she's somewhere closer. That she's right here with us."

Burt nodded offering the small boy a smile he hoped was comforting.

He noticed Kurt thinking over what they had just discussed and was surprised at the beautiful wide smile his son was giving him at the moment.

"That is a whole lot better than being thousands of miles away near nasty fishes."

Both of them laughed, settling for staring at the tree before them. Kurt's eyes followed the swaying ornament. Watching it shine from time to time, it seemed as if it was winking at him. When he pointed this out to his dad, he told Kurt that it was just the reflection of the light but Kurt thought differently. He believed that his mom was sending him a sign. A sign that said she was there with him. He finally felt like he was getting into the Christmas spirit. The smell of lavender and pine, an odd combination managed to sooth Kurt into a deep sleep in his daddy's arms.

The End.

**I know that there are some details that were mentioned in the episode that don't match with my fic so bare with me!Well I had this story in my mind for a couple of days and decided you guys might like it! So fave and review please! Happy Holidays! **


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